I’ve come to realize how important living your own life is. You can’t live to please others. You can’t live in a way that feels forced, because it’s what others expect, or want from you. Not if it’s not truly in your heart. You may feel like you’re disappointing loved ones… but if you betray your own feelings and needs, there will always be a part of you hurting, not living your life genuinely. It hurts to know others don’t always understand, or value the choices you make. But I believe being true to your own heart, is what will bring you peace and happiness in the long run.
A part of me grieves for relationships lost, or relationships forever changed by my decisions to experience this time away. I think some don’t understand it, and potentially view it as a lack of love, as an absence of my feelings of missing them, or some sort of betrayal, all of which couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s extremely hard to explain, how you can love someone or something, but also be happy in your life away and with the opportunity to be here having this experience. How I can miss people, and things, and also feel incredibly happy, lucky and grateful to be where I am now. I can’t control how others view my decisions. I can only bear my heart to them as best I can, and hope they understand. There’s always hope to grow a new type of relationship with them, and move forward (even if it’s not right away). My heart has room for everyone and everything I love, it doesn’t have to be just one or the other. Things aren’t so black and white, no matter how much (we think) that would simplify everything. I will hold space for those who want to be a part of my life, and wish nothing but the best for those that don’t. Growth comes from expanding our horizons, and being willing to see things with an open mind and new perspective. I hope we all find the courage to live (and continue to live) life as authentically as possible, whatever that may look like for you. Life’s adventures aren’t often straightforward… but I suppose it’s the bumps in the road that remind us that life is a journey, and help to show us which path we’re truly meant to take. Life is full of all kinds of beautiful opportunities, but only if you’re willing to take them.
Wishing you nothing but strength, love and happiness, now and always. ❤